Four weeks

I can't believe how quickly time is passing by...

It's already been four whole weeks since my moms and I landed in Chicago, the newest member of our family sleeping soundly in my arms, unaware of the mystery, the adventure, the love that was waiting for him...

This morning we had our first post-placement visit from (our social worker) J.D. Of course, this morning was also the first morning since Rubin joined our family that everyone decided to sleep in... the Mama and the Papa included.  And so, if I know J.D., I know that our visit was the kind that she likes the best... the coffee was hot, the boys were fresh out of bed, still warm and snuggly from 12 hours in fleeced footie jammies.  She shared in the diaper changing, the breakfast making, and she took us all in. Just as we are.

Theo and Emmett were both thrilled to have her here. Theo stuck close, and Emmett insisted on helping her "take notes..." J.D. graciously allowed him to scribble in crayon on the back of her paperwork. All over a copy of our foster home license. Just his two cents, I'm sure...

Slowly, but steadily, things have been improving here. And I use that term lightly, because it isn't as if things were ever that bad.  We did have a solid week worth of not so good. However, I know how much worse things can be, so I would never say terrible or awful. I think you get the picture.

The worst part, by far, has been the sleep bit.  This, coming from the Mama of two other little boys who have always been difficult (and here I would venture to use the words terrible and awful) in the sleep department. I didn't think I was going into this gig naively!! Honestly, during my past 4 years of parenthood, I've probably only slept through the night without having to wake up for one of the boys 30 or 40 times. Theo didn't sleep through the night consistently until he was well over 9 months old. And Emmett, my little firecracker... it took Emmett close to a year and a half... I'm no stranger to sleep issues. It's just that what Rubin is going through is completely new to me. And so begins another chapter in the "sleep" section of my parenting memory book.

It is probably slightly my fault, too. I set myself up mentally for something that wasn't going to be. I read his child study. I saw the words, "sleeps through the night" and forgot all about jet lag, and grieving the loss of his foster mother, and all of our new faces and new sights and new foods and new sounds.  Silly me. 

Considering all of these things, and considering how difficult the adjustment would be on any of us, our baby boy is a champion.  I can't help but marvel, every single day, as he grows and changes and adjusts before my eyes.  More and more he's falling in love with his big brothers... Theo dotes on him and is seemingly amazed at his every move. He's come up with a handful of adorable nicknames for his brother (Rubinski, Rubinowski, Ruby- Cubey) and asks so many questions...

~When I was as old as Rubin, was I in Korea, too?

~ Why does Rubin have dark eyes, Mama? I want him to have blue eyes like me and Emmett. (This question is asked in different variations about 50 times each day. He can't get over the fact that we don't all have the same color eyes. I can't figure out many more ways to explain it...)

~ When will Rubin be as big as me, so I can teach him to ride my bikes?

My list could go on and on. And on.

And, despite Emmett's best efforts to thwart Rubin's fondness, I can't help but notice how our baby gravitates toward his not-so-big brother, despite the push, scratch, or smack that sometimes follows.  I'm worried about the kind of trouble these two are going to cause together, some day...  And I'm doing everything in my power to put it off as long as I can!

(Here Emmett is showing Rubin how to stick stones into our central air unit. Ugh.)

Four weeks. It's just unbelievable to me. 

I am so thankful.