Quite a few of the articles in the New York Times' segment on Adoption and the American family are written about Korean adoption, mostly by Korean adoptees. I find some of them and the comments posted afterwards, at the same time, heartwarming and heartbreaking. All day, I have been thinking about Rubin. I've been thinking about the inevitable losses that he will experience, some immediate and some eventual, as the result of his adoption. I am determined, as his mother, to make sure that the gains outweigh what is left behind.
My brother Joshua, adopted from South Korea over 35 years ago, recently applied for his passport and is thinking about returning to Korea with me and my mom, when we travel for Rubin. When I first asked him if he would, his answer came easily. No. I have no interest in returning, there are other places I would rather see, things I would rather do. No. But thank you for asking.
But something inside of him has been changing. He is beginning to reconsider. And I am prayerful that I will get to share his trip, to the place where he was born, with him. And I am hoping that he will want to share my trip to that same place, where my youngest son was born, with me. And with our mother, who loves us unequivocally. To meet our newest family member, coming to be with us the way his uncles did years before. To share with Rubin what is being lost.
And to gain.
5 comments:
I'm glad to hear that Joshua is open to considering it. With the kids, I've always been so open about everything. What I know, they know. Coming from a family with multiple adoptions and one of my oldest and dearest friends an adoptee--I've followed their advice. Here's hoping they will grow up secure and confident. And if Julia ever goes back to Russia--I HAVE to go back too--just because I fell in love with Russia's land and people!
I hope he does travel back with you. If nothing else, it might answer questions he didn't know he had.
Just beautiful. Powerful. I could cry. As you know, Jared's brother was also born in Korea. I wonder if he has ever thought about returning, or if his family has ever asked him about the losses he may feel. I love to read about your family and you - your hearts are so open and big. Someday soon, Rubin will feel this for himself. I can't wait. xo
In the article it says that for various reasons, the children at the orphanage were not available for international adoption...do you know why?
Wonderful. Thanks for sharing.
I think it would be amazing if Joshua went over with you...
What an experience that would be for Josh. He's such a "Pierre" to me that it's easy to forget that he's got this rich history that he can delve into if he decides he'd like to. My dad did this, you know, and even though it wasn't in a different country, I think he's thankful for the things he found out.
Miss you!
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