Resolution.

And so, while I've never been really big on New Year's Eve and all of the traditional merry-making and promising that comes with it, I admit that it's pretty difficult not to spend some time, at the end of one year and the beginning of another, reflecting on where you've been and thinking about where you plan to go.

The final day of 2007 was the first time that I really made a serious New Year's resolution: to run the Madison Half Marathon in 2008.  In many parts, that goal was about losing more baby weight, taking some time away from home and from work just for me, and (significantly) Dave... I knew that he would be so proud of me, and I wanted to prove... something... to him. 

What resulted was so much more... a strength, on the inside and the outside, that I knew existed but had somehow been buried. Or lost. Or maybe even ignored.  Despite the fact that I had given birth, twice, without any pain medication... the will that I discovered while training for and completing my run has been incredible. Incomparable.  Perhaps the difference has been the matter of choice.  A conscious decision to do something that I don't really have to do. Doing it over and over again and, eventually, falling in love with it.  

Clearly, in 2008, I ran my race and then some.  I haven't stopped.  On the final day of 2008, I registered for the race again.  Now, I'm working towards a full marathon. And, hopefully, my first triathlon in the fall (depending on how well we adjust to having 3 kids!! And, whether or not Rob can find me a great deal on a bike! Hopefully, I don't drown. Or get eaten by a big fish in Lake Wingra.)

Anyway, I'm starting to think that perhaps an annual resolution is the way to go.  Whether I make it on January 1st or July 21st. What I've found is that the unexpected results have been far more rewarding than those that I'd intended.  Most importantly the realization that I needed to know, more for me than to prove to Dave, how strong I really am.  

On the inside.