...the waiting is the hardest part.
~tom petty
(theo, with my mom, and emmett, with me, at one week old, 26 months apart...)
theo and emmett were both born 9 days after their estimated due dates. the first time around, i could not wait for my baby to be born. i tried just about everything that was recommended to "naturally" induce labor... from pineapple to primrose oil. (fyi, it was the acupuncture that was successful, both times around!!) i was desperate to meet my baby, to know whether i would have a son or a daughter, to know loving as a mama, to "have my body back" (still working on that one!!!)...
in those last few days before the end of my first pregnancy, my sister (very wisely) warned me not to wish my time away. she said, "it's a lot easier to take care of this baby now than it will be when he comes out!"
little did i know how very, very right she was...
fast forward to june of 2007. again, overdue. again, anxious to meet my baby, to know whether he was an "emmett," or she was a "celia." to find out, once and for all, if it really was possible to love like i was in love with theo. however, wise to newborn babies and all of their antics, i wasn't in the least bit concerned when emmett chose to take his time, following in his big brother's footsteps... only at the threat of medical induction did i finally "go under the needle." i couldn't push it off any longer. he did need, eventually, to come out.
(theo and emmett, nov. o8)
here we are again. now, officially, waiting. the adoption agency in mi received and accepted our official application. they are "looking forward to working" with us. for now, things are out of our hands. for now, we wait.
this is so different than expecting a child through pregnancy. how long is it going to be? what do i do in the meantime to make sure that everything goes smoothly? i suppose there aren't any vitamins that i can take, or a diet that i should follow. if it takes too long, will acupuncture work??
right now, i'm reading. everything i can get my hands on. in the past two weeks, i've read secret thoughts of an adoptive mother (jana wolff), i wish for you a beautiful life (letters from korean birth mothers) and a love like no other (stories from adoptive parents~ thanks janiece!!) i'm learning so much from reading what other mamas or soon-to-be mamas who are similarly situated are going through or have done. their stories are breathtaking.
i'm not wishing any of this time, any of this experience, away. i'm soaking it in. i'm holding onto theo and emmett, my incredible sons. i'm looking forward to widening my grasp to include their baby brother or sister, who will be with us in time.
we will take it on faith, and we'll take it to the heart... let the waiting begin!!!!!
4 comments:
And I will warn you that no matter how long it takes--once baby is here, it will seem like the time just flew by. I remember waiting for Julia--i was a major pest! Now, I can't believe how quick our adoption was. The same with the boys--although with Chewie I was more like "whatever--it will work out". A little pissed off at times, but experience does pay off! I'll be interested to see how it is different for you, biological vs. adoption, since my experience is only adoption.
i hadn't really thought about the "not knowing how long" part...i mean, what would it be like for me to not know when my baby was due??? certainly a different concept. we're all waiting with you...and enjoying theo and emmett in the mean time. what sweet pictures. the two recent ones really show just how unique each of your boys really are. and i like the tiny baby ones too. you really forget how tiny they are at the start!
Beautiful...thanks for the reminder that this time is so precious!
Praying that you had a very happy Thanksgiving!
I can (very obviously) sympathize with the "not knowing how long" part. It's tough. (Not the wait - the not knowing) I'm having trouble planning anything in the new year. But from what I hear, it all works out.
I'm reading "I wish for you a beautiful life" right now as well! I *loved* "a love like no other" and *didn't love* "secret thoughts." I'd love to know what you think of all of these books!
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