I feel like I'm stuck somewhere, in between.
I'm not exactly sure where I want to go.
I have been reading, during the past few weeks, a lot of really incredible adoption blogs. Most of them I've found either directly or in a round-about-way through my new friend Janiece's own blogspot. Janiece is the mother of three, and we "met" one another through an online community- a yahoo group- for local moms (I'm so looking forward to the actual meeting, which has been thwarted a couple of times now, thanks to work and the flu.) Janiece answered an email that I sent out a few months ago, inquiring about others' experiences with adoption, specifically looking for suggestions in choosing a social worker. Being that it is such a small world, Janiece highly recommended that we contact J.D., who also happened to work with another friend of mine who adopted her two children from Guatamala over 10 years ago. Janiece's oldest also just happens to be in Gabe's first grade class AND her "middle child" attends the same pre-school as Lucy! (Whew!)
We have so much going on right now. We're definitely in the thick of the "busy" part of adopting. A week or so ago I blogged about how we were almost finished with the paperwork needed for Korea. At our last meeting with J.D., however, I learned that we are only about half way there, and in the past week I've decided that the half we have left is more time consuming. Dave and I are both working on our autobiographies. I knew that this wouldn't be an "easy" task for my husband, but I hadn't anticipated how difficult it would be for me, too. We need to bring them to J.D. by the 12th.
Work. Ugh. Our situation is complex. Dave and I work opposite hours for the sake of being at home with the boys. This means we're never at home with each other, which has been really hard (on me) this fall. I'm a little tired of feeling like a single mom who SAH and WOH and sometimes WAH, too... I'm whining, now, because I know how lucky we are, and I know that we wouldn't want things any other way, but I miss my husband. And, I'd like to know how it feels for the four of us to be here together most of the time.
I guess I just haven't felt, much, like writing. I'm not taking a ton of photos right now, because my camera is acting fritzy and I desperately want an upgrade. Who wants to read my posts if I don't have a snappy shot to share?
And, our computer spent about 2 weeks completely out of whack thanks to some nasty virus. I got a pain in my neck every time I even thought about turning it on. Checking my email alone seemed to take hours at a time.
I'm trying to work through my kinks. I'm toying with some new "blog skins" (I think this is what they are called. The term kind of freaks me out, but I'm going with it) and some new layout ideas (thanks to some of the very cool adoption blogs I'm keeping company with.) I want this to feel fun again, and I want it to be fun for you, too.
12 comments:
i'm with you. last night, i had the hardest time trying to post a video...and i was, for the first time, frustrated with my blog. i love all it's new features, but that one by far is the coolest. and i have these cute videos...waiting to be seen. don't worry dear friend, we'll stick with you...you'll get your groove back. i like the idea of the new "skins" i've been poking around on the blogs of note feature and i found some cool sites for knitting and such....so neat to get inspiration. okay, i've rambled....love you.
i vote no on this one. the white on brown hurts my eyes. and the diamonds are creepy.
I hear you sister ... I'm so stuck in having to have a perfect blog due to my anal English nature, that I end up doing very little. I also feel that perhaps I have uninteresting information to share with others and therefore, I too write very little.
With all that said, it is amazing how your blog can touch others even if they don't leave a comment or two. I love reading your blog, and Norbyah's ofcourse. I would be totally lost without them.
But alas, just as the wise Janet Tan says, 'This too shall pass'. You will feel better.
Thank you for your honesty.
hmmmm. i didn't see diamonds jessica. i saw some sort of crafty/ribbony/felty edge. but then when you mentioned it... yuck! i like the brown, however, so...
I totally understand the funk you are in. Ted and I do the opposite shifts also and I think I'm still married--at least there is a body in the bed next to me at night! It's very frustrating and I miss my husband. But I keep reminding myself it's for a short time.
I think also that it's a combination of things going on too. This is a frustrating point in your adoption--so close and yet so far. The autobiography was the hardest part on our first adoption--after that we just updated it! I remember driving to the social worker's office (before JD) and Ted updating his on the laptop and printing it out at the office! And I was yelling at him cause he didn't have it finished. I know it's hard--but don't look at everything at once--just get one thing done, put it aside and do something else. Come back later and do one more thing, put it aside and do something else. Repeat process and soon you will be done.
Oh--and remember you are getting over something rightw and there has been the time change. That will totally throw you off too. Deep breaths and give it a couple of days. Do something for yourself --nap (my personal favorite), go for a walk, spa appt. whatever sounds good. I'm in agreement with everyone else--this to shall pass.
I love to ready your blog. I quite like the brown and blue txt and the flowers. I think my blog is boring. I think people who really know me probably wonder why my blog is so 'polite'. But it can only be a tiny snipped of my life...it can't be everything you think and feel all the time. Keep doing what you do...change it...keep it the same...change it again...that's the fun.
Oh, I've been there too... and it does pass!! I promise. I really struggled when we were waiting to get some questions answered. I couldn't even look at my blog... never mind post! Sometimes it's good to breathe. I'll still be here when you get back!
(I like the brown too by the way!)
"My wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death. One or other of us has got to go." --Oscar Wilde
this brown is better.
i'm with you jess. i like this brown. there's something that is very "emily" about this one. we're with you through it all em. love you.
I'm still looking for the diamonds.
Mine needs an overhaul too....maybe something I can work on over our winter holiday....hmmm... better hit the skins myself! AGHH! :-) dirty.....LOL....
Post a Comment