Be that as it may, I had to let a little bit of my truth be told, even if it wasn't Tuesday. I really only divulged the ingredients responsible for the icing on my pity-party-cake (I can only imagine what would have happened if I'd written more!) Evidently, that was just enough to encourage an anonymous commenter to give me the slap on the hands she (or he) felt I deserved, post Valentine's Day whine...
What I'm trying to say is this: there is a reader out there who shamed me this afternoon for complaining about life. A reader who criticized us for taking a vacation without our boys when "less than a year has passed since Rubin came home. What about attachment?!"
I'm sparing you (and myself, the annoyance of reading it repeatedly) the rest of this anonymous reader's opinion. I'm angry with myself, tonight, for letting it get under my skin.
Not that it's anyone else's business: I've thought, through and through, about taking this trip with my husband. Unless you know us, unless you see our day-to-day, unless you've witnessed this family really squish... your comments are not welcome here. You can take your "unfit adoptive mother" and "irresponsible parenting" and (this one, by far my favorite) "selfish rendezvous" and (politely) shove them.
Ahem.
Good night.
31 comments:
I would like to meet this anonymous poster, who clearly is so firm in their stance they didn't have the balls to put their name down, and quite honestly slap them silly.
I am not a parent, so this is probably just as judgemental as what this blogger posted, but I totally and utterly believe that to raise completely happy and well adjusted children, you and your spouse cannot lose yourselves. Seeing you run marathons, continue to pursue passionate vacations with your husband, and do all the things that make you YOU is a HUGE inspiration to those of us out here who have not yet taken the plunge to put themselves out there as parents do...knowing there will be mistakes, high moments and low moments and doing it anyway.
My point of all of this is that I would like to extend a Big F U to whoever have the audacity to write this. Sorry for the profanity...I know this is a family blog. :)
i had an extremely long comment typed, but i figure it's wasted on someone who can't even sign his/her name to his/her comment. the sister in me advises the poster probably shouldn't, as i may find the need to track him or her down. shut your yap. you don't know my sister, her husband, her crazy wonderful boys, or the crazy wonderful extended family with whom they will have the pleasure of attaching even further while there mama and papa enjoy a well deserved break.
I'm so sorry that you had to deal with that nasty comment. I honestly don't know why people feel the need to judge other's decisions and parenting! Try not to let it get to you, and look forward to that lovely vacation! (I am SOOOO jealous!)
There are so many things I want to write in this comment, but I will try to remain civilized. Even though I'm mad as hell as this anonymous a**h*le. OK, a little anger just slipped through there. Sorry. From what I can tell you are one of the best mamas out there, and I agree with what Greta says above about the need to take some time out for yourself every once in a while in order to be a better parent. I truly believe that. Now forget about that idiotic fool and go back to being the lovely, warm, kind, thoughtful mother you are. We are very excited for your vacation that you so totally deserve!!
Ugh, how frustrating! Enjoy your vacation, and try to ignore the obnoxious anonymous commenter (easier said than done, I know...)
i just don't know what to say except that i am shocked and angry. grrrrr. you are one awesome mama and don't let anyone tell you different!! i very much dislike jerky trolls! we got your back, sista!!!
Here's what I know. JEALOUS! I don’t care if that sounds childish. Who ever wrote to you ON YOUR BLOG about your personal choice to vacation with your husband without your kids is jealous that you have three strong, healthy, adorable kids, have a good marriage, write, photograph, marathon, AND get to vacation with your man without your extra loved children BECAUSE you also have an amazing family outside your home who loves you and can do it just like you do FOR you for a week. COME ON! I’m sorry your mystery writer used the only two brain cells they had to pussy out with anonymity. Smart enough to keep from getting their ass beat!
I’m sorry that someone is clueless enough to have called you a selfish, unfit mother. You who spends every waking (and sleeping) hour thinking, talking and being all about your kids. DO NOT LET IT EAT AT YOU. It’s THE MOST untrue, and you KNOW it. Ridiculous.
I'm gonna go try to breathe a little now.
How rude of that anonymous commenter! Don't let her/him get under your skin. You deserve some mommy R&R!
I forgot to say that I love the picture!!!
Are you serious? Someone really took time to write those things? I mean, even a person who just stumbles upon your blog, who isn't lucky enough to know you, can tell in just seconds what an absolutely wonderful person you are, in every role that you have. And, I'm with Greta...the fact that the person didn't even have the spine enough to attach their name just goes to show what a wimp he/she is. Definitely not worth getting under your skin....though I know that's easier said than done. Enjoy your vacation. Enjoy your wonderful husband. And when you return, enjoy your beautiful children. We know the balance that is needed in life. That ridiculous person does not.
Love you lots and lots.
un be leeeev a bubble! WTF?! I can't believe somebody who doesn't know you judged and then...didn't just judge but felt they needed to put their judgements in your face (...or on your blog)
As I remind myself often 'opinions are like assholes...everybody has one' It's just than some stink a little worse than others.
hmph!
Wow. That person has no idea what they are talking about... Yet they felt that they should weigh in?! Interesting. I love when people do insanely stupid things (that's me being sarcastic) I don't know what to say... Try not to let it get to you (I said try... I know it's easier said than done) you are an awesome woman and mama... Don't forget it!! And remember... Those that mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind!
(and I'm avaiable to kick@ss if you need me)
Isn't it lovely that there are people who think they know so much they can so easily judge others? I'm sure they are totally perfect. I agree with Lora--jealous. Well, I'm jealous too--I want to go to Mexico too! HAHA
Emily, there are always going to be those people who think they can say crap like this. Those of us that see you all the time know Rubin is quite well adjusted and attached. As are the other two. This is the time when I say "whatever" roll my eyes, and just keep living my life. But I still would love to go to Mexico. Think I can squeeze into your suitcase???
You weren't looking for 'advice' so that person should have just saved it.
I had all these opinions before Gabe came home on what I would and would not do...but half of them went out the window. I truly think the attachment parenting is very different from child to child. And YOU as Rubin's mom KNOWS. And who is to say that a year home is the magic amount of 'attachment time?'
Enjoy your vacation...your boys will be just fine!!
i think everyone said it all... and i totally agree with them. i just want to say, i love your photo response!!!
Good for you, Emily! Take your trip and enjoy every minute of it!!! It is your business and only you KNOW your family.
This person is jealous of the trip; your family; and how well your boys are attached. They can shove their comments indeed!
P.S. Great pic!!!
Ugh. Why do rude folks like that feel the need to judge and hurt and break down lovely, hardworking, sweet, great people like you, Em??? That's just down right mean and uncalled for. Especially since there is NO REASON to judge in the first place!
Sorry you had to deal with that, girl...I hope this person realizes they wronged you and apologizes.
Hugs to you!
People who leave nasty anon comments are chicken sh*t cowards who should just keep their mouths shut. Don't let 'em get you down!!! I'm also sticking my tongue out at them right now ;)
It's a shame that someone felt the need to be rude to you. Negativity does not bring anything positive, so that person can't have felt "better"
about themselves after writing it.
Anonymous poster: shame on you. I hope you don't teach your child to be such a negative and unkind person like you apparently are.
And Emily, like others have said, YOU know your family. You know your son. You guys are great parents. I have no doubt that if you thought any of your children would have been impacted by your vacation, you would never consider taking it. Enjoy Mexico! I'm sure your kids will have a blast with whoever they get to stay with!
Emily...I'm so sorry you had to deal with this! I seriously read this post and had to walk away a bit before writing my comment. I was just so angry that someone would write such hurtful things to you. I truly don't understand people sometimes.
That being said, you are guys are wonderful parents and you know what's best for you and your family. You deserve this vacation and I hope you have a wonderful time!
Whoa. So I'm totally LATE to this party... but I'll comment nonetheless. Um... JERK! (Not you. Clearly.) I hate to make this about me, but this reminds me soooo much of that anonymous letter we received with a creepy article that claimed attachment parenting was a total farce. Anonymous people need spines, and this person clearly lacks the (in the spirit of your trip to Mexico) CAJONES to say who they are. But my take on it is that people who say stupid things are usually 1) stupid, 2) ignorant and don't understand what they're talking about, 3) revealing their own sense of inadequacy, and 4) need their heads knocked around a bit. So I'm with Christine - we can be your brute squad.
We got yo' back, lady!
You so deserve a vacation - you have THREE boys!!! And now even more after after that nastiness. You are a wonderful mother - and I haven't even met you. I'll help C & E if you need some backup :)
You don't deserve comments like that.
and I LOVE that picture :)
Phooey on that anonymous person. I have read your blog, and you are a wonderful mom. I am sorry someone felt the need to judge you - you have a wonderful vacation and enojoy every minute!!
seriously?!? to the coward who posted anon, you obviously have never met the woman you were so rudely criticizing. she, more than anyone else I know, deserves a little whine, and definitely deserves a vacation.
anonymous and CRAZY! your outlook and approach to such comments are nothing short of outstanding and inspiring.
have a wonderful kid-free vacation!!!
People just really suck sometimes. What is it their business to judge you and your choices? This person probably doesn't even have a kid! All I know is that how can a mom and dad of three ( or one, or whatever the number ) not totally deserve a vacation?! Doesn't this bonehead realize that parents need time away to reconnect with their spouse and to come home rejuvenated and happier, well rested parents?!! Man, some people! That's why I mostly hang out with Noah and my dog. :)
Ohhhh, and perfect photo by the way!
So sorry you had to deal with someone who is obviously a big jerk! That is so frustrating...why do people feel they have the right to judge? I don't know you well, but I can tell you are a great mother. Have a great vacation!
You have GOT.TO.BE.KIDDING.ME. I'm so so angry for you - but do what you know you need to do - and IGNORE this person. They really don't even warrant a response.
For what's it's worth, i LOVE and admire and think it's FANTASTIC that you and Dave are taking some kidfree time away just for you. Brian and I do it quite a bit too b/c I know it's good for us, but it doesn't mean it doesn't come with some guilt. A good friend of mine gave me some incredible advise a couple of years ago when we were leaving the boys for a week (when mine were about your ages now) - it was such agreat advise that I actually saved it - and I think maybe just for this very moment:
part of your job is to take care of your ENTIRE family. and that means that different people get priority at different times. that's the same for everyone. your priority for now is [Dave and your marriage]. and while you attend to that very important task, people that you love and that love you dearly will work very hard at their priority, which is taking care of your boys. AND God will take care of ALL of you. it's that simple, and that complicated.
Have funny honey!!
WHAT. THE. HELL.
let 'em have it. it's your blog. say what you like. and you absolutely deserve a vacay with just the hubby. (but i'm hoping you're confident in that without me having to tell you.)
loving the background, need your address to send you a late christmas/valentine's day card and we need to get together.
that's all. xoxo
Dude. I am so late to this comment fiesta, but I agree with everything posted above. Such bullshit. It makes me EVEN happier to know that as I type this you're probably relaxing, enjoying time with Dave and laughing all about this person's stupidity. Vacation on girlfriend.
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